If your mate is wanting out of the marriage, they may engage in some behaviors that will confuse and hurt you unless you are aware of the motives behind these. One of these is work on getting you to incriminate yourself or otherwise engage in unwise activities so that they can gain advantages during divorce. You will need to be aware of these traps (whether you are a man or a woman), so that you can fall into to protect yourself and your rights.
The Baiting Games
By now your mate probably knows you pretty well, and is aware of your triggers and weaknesses. If you have a temper, or you are struggling to control an addiction, they could work to get you to fall back into bad habits or get you so angry that you act in ways you never intended.
One common trick is to get you involved in a heated argument so that others can hear you yelling. They may even hurt you if no one can see them. As you do things to try to protect yourself, they will hurry and call emergency services so that you look like the aggressor instead of them. When the police come, you are confused and emotional, while the mate is acting like the perfect victim. To restore order, the police may haul you off to jail and charge you with domestic abuse.
If you have been in treatment for alcohol or drug abuse, a unscrupulous mate may try to sabotage your success. If you fall for it, you might find out Child Protective Services has been called by an anonymous person, and you could then be subjected to an investigation that could include drug testing.
The Benefits for Your Spouse
By getting you arrested or reporting you to CPS, the mate may be aiming for the following goals:
- To make you look bad to your children, your friends, relatives or others,
- To cause you to have a criminal record that could affect your employment or prospects,
- To distract you from preparing to protect your own best interests,
- To give the spouse an advantage in custody or visitation arrangements, and/or
- To obtain a probable cause for a judge to put a restraining order on you that further limits your rights.
Your Best Defense
If your mate has started engaging in activities that are designed to make harm you in various ways, you should realize that this situation is not likely to improve. You will need to separate as soon as possible, and consult an attorney that specializes in divorce and domestic violence issues like Andrew H P Norton. Your attorney will likely encourage you to collect any evidence available to show that you are the one who is being mistreated or set up unfairly, and help you to provide a defense to criminal charges or to other allegations that could affect your parental rights.
Divorce may be inevitable so you will want to prepare for it by gathering your personal ID papers (and those of your children), getting a separate bank account plus acquiring information about your marital finances, obtaining support if you are the primary caretaker of your children or you are unemployed outside of the home, and following any other advice that your attorney gives you.Share